Inner Sakura: Selfishness to Self Sacrifice
by Mornings Light
Summary: Sakura talks about being equal. Her rivalry with Ino. Courage. Her two team mates, Naruto and Sasuke. She might have been a normal girl... but really... you can be something extraordinary when you have two minds.


**Inner Sakura: Selfish to self-sacrifice**

You know I always thought I was normal. Nothing much special. I… I think there is a funny thing about me. I think I have two minds.

**You do.**

Okay… I have two minds.

…

… Come on… judge me.

**Why?**

Because that's what everyone does.

**SHANNARO! THE LITTLE- ahem… well, I know they do. Huh. They're not like us. They don't understand.**

But… even with my two minds… I don't really seem to make the right decisions.

**Like?**

Do you really think I should've kept my rivalry with Ino? I mean… there's no point now that… now that…

**Keh. Not brave enough to say Sasuke is gone? Or… not brave enough to say he walked away from **_**you**_**. And you were too powerless to stop him.**

It's… I… what can I do? His… _their_ problems are too big for me. Naruto and Sasuke-Kun's. I came… I started with one simple wish of making him perhaps compliment me or like me… and then… I don't know why I didn't seem to realise what the ninja life was like. I didn't really know first hand anyway, since…

**Making excuses? So what… there are plenty of successful ninja of non-shinobi parents. You looked it up yourself.**

Well… nobody can blame me. Can they? I mean… how can I cope with their problems? Naruto's loneliness. Sasuke's loneliness. I tried… and I failed.

**You only fail if you give up.**

Shut up. That quote was in a book I read. And the hero was awesome. I'm not awesome. I'm not strong. I'm just a girl. I don't need to be a ninja. I've got qualifications to have a normal job. Live a normal life. Nobody will hold it against me…

**You will. You will never forgive yourself.**

… **Because me and you are both so alike.**

What? But… I'm not violent.

**You are **_**me**_**. And I am **_**you**_**. There's no changing that.**

Yeah… and there's no changing me being the weakest member of our group. I couldn't stop Sasuke-Kun… and I dumped all my worries for Sasuke-Kun on Naruto. I burdened him.

**Because you know… Sasuke might be the knight in shining armour… but Naruto's always there, isn't he? For every major battle, you've been the one worrying for **_**him**_** and never Naruto. Not because you don't care for Naruto… it's because you know Naruto's really a hero. He's the dependable one isn't he? The one who will always come through in the end, always by your side and always doing anything to please you… right? But…**

But he didn't keep his promise of bringing Sasuke-Kun back.

**And ****you**** know… that Naruto is blameless… the one you hate the most is…**

Me.

**Yes. You. Weak, aren't you? You're always following and shouting 'Sasuke-Kun! Sasuke-Kun!' like some lost little puppy. No wonder you hate yourself. **_**I**_** hate yourself.**

**But… there are things that redeem you.**

Like?

**Like your courage.**

What courage…

**Courage is not about being the strongest. Is it Sakura? Remember… remember the passage of **_**true courage**_

_True courage is knowing you're afraid, but you go ahead and tackle your fears anyway. _Hmph. Fat lot of good 'true courage' does in the ninja world. You need strength. Not foolishness.

**Do you think your courage is foolishness?**

Yes. Without strength, courage is meaningless.

**Hah. Hahaha. You've got it the wrong way round.**

Eh?

**Without courage, strength is meaningless. Remember why you go against your fears and tackle them- you might be afraid, but you challenge them head on because it is the **_**right**_** thing for you. Because at the end of the day, you have to look at yourself in the mirror.**

**And you're a brave girl.**

Hah. I've never been a brave girl. You said so yourself. I'm always shouting 'Sasuke-Kun! Sasuke-Kun!' or Naruto's or Kakashi-Sensei's name… and they always pull through to rescue me. I'm a coward.

**Keh. Nobody knows why you really turned your friendship into rivalry with Ino. Do they?**

Who cares… what's done is done.

**But maybe you should remind **_**yourself**_**. So you know… that you're a better person than you think.**

Ino's the better person. _Everyone_ knows that. She's stylish, smart, charming, fast, great reflexes, charismatic… and too kind for her own good. She made friends with me and never made fun of me like the others did. She made me gain confidence in myself. She… would've given up Sasuke-Kun for _me_ had I not ended our friendship.

**See… you ended it.**

Yes. Otherwise I would've been like some parasite, always using Ino to make myself stronger… to be like Ino. To always be in her shadow. I wouldn't have 'bloomed'. And… that would've wasted her hard work on me and her friendship.

Ino-Chan's friendship was too valuable to be wasted on someone like me… So that's why, I cut my ties… to make sure I would bloom as an equal to Ino. So that we could have 'true' friendship… where there is no superior or inferior between us… but equals.

**And… you can only be an equal if you work hard. Remember… remember you wanted to help Naruto? Do you really want him to go all alone again… to go all alone without any help to retrieve Sasuke?**

**Do you… are you really that selfish?**

No way! My team mates…

**Are your whole world.**

I… want to be an equal with Naruto and Sasuke-Kun. I want… I want them to hold their head up high when they say that _I_ am on their team. I don't want to watch their backs any more… I want to walk as equals with Naruto and Sasuke-Kun.

I… want to save them.

Both of them.

**Hm… I think I'll visit you a lot less from now on.**

_Cherry blossoms are the flowers that bloom late. I may not be perfect. I have my flaws…I have my weaknesses… but I __will__ overcome them. I will get strong. So strong, that I will stun my team mates. I will have a strength to rival my team mates. To be __equal__ to you. Naruto, Sasuke-Kun, Kakashi-Sensei… please… I will never let you down. I will bloom…_


End file.
